Wisdom abounds, even from the mouths of babes.
Spring arrived in Haileybury, my second and final year there. Money had grown a little tight, and we’d begun hanging out at home more, going to the LCBO and investing in a case of beer that neither pleased, nor offended anyone, watching TVO’s Saturday Night at the Movies. On one such Saturday night, we were settled in on our back stoop, just hanging out. Time was short. We’d soon be each on our way wherever. I was leaving for good. I’d no regrets returning. It was a good year, with good friends. I also regretted returning, leaving Debbie, but you can’t turn back time, can you? One must learn to live with one’s decisions.
It was a small space, that back stoop, room to sit two comfortably, with myself, Jeff, Joe, Neil and John in attendance. Two of Neil’s grade 13 harem had joined us, perched on the bannister, one on either side of the source their adoration. Neil was popular with the girls, and Neil liked the girls, too, he even loved his girlfriend back home. He did like a lot of attention.
Neil was strumming and picking Bruce Cockburn songs, and others, anything Canadian, only Canadian. My stereo was ready and waiting for when he’d tired. The fridge was stocked. The night was calm. Summer’s heat was settling in.
There was chat, about nothing and everything. For whatever reason, the Falklands War was a hot topic, despite it being four years past. So was Vietnam. Vietnam was always a big topic then, probably since it had always been referenced to, so long as we’d lived. War was everywhere. War was a constant. So was the Cold War. Iraq-Iran was droning on. The Culture War was beginning, that much was obvious, even to us then. Political rhetoric was far more venomous than ever, raising the ghosts of 1968. Political venom was enticing hate and vitriol. It looked, to us, like the pot was beginning to boil over. We were debating the likelihood of our fate should Canada ever go to war again. Neil’s harem was dutifully impressed by the depth of our wisdom and erudition (pretentiousness, more likely).
That ought not to have lasted out the night, given the consumption of alcohol, but it did. We were in fine form. Politics, the rise of government debt, the impending fall of intellectualism. Such philosophers we were!
We devised what we referred to as the Immutable Laws and Rules of Life.
These being:
a. later
amended with: this means you, too
2. Never
let anyone else do your thinking for you
a. their
motives are not your own
b. their
end goals are not your own
c. never
trust a politician
3. Bravery
is a tool, leveraged by others, if not yourself
a. leverages
include:
i.
seduction
ii.
coaxing
iii.
intimidation
iv.
threats
4. Stamp
out bravery, bravery will only get you in trouble
a. if
any action requires you to be brave, what you’re about to do is inadvisable and
foolhardy
b. courage
and fortitude are not the same thing as bravery
5. Always
ask yourself this before doing anything, what am I forgetting?
a. if
you aren’t forgetting anything and it still requires bravery, see above
6. When
in doubt, a man’s intelligence is inversely proportional to the complexity of
his watch
a. if
in doubt, refer to your own watch
i.
is it complex?
ii.
does it do more than tell the time?
iii.
refer to the Laws and Rules mentioned
above
7. Lastly,
life is too short to get mad about stupid shit.
We did get a little silly as the evening wore on.
There was a lot of giggling and laughter as we bore on.
But I stand by our early wisdom.
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