A Return

There was no way I was going to live in Cambrian College Residence again, so my parents rook me on a road trip to Sudbury early in the summer to help me search for a place to live. We found a list of potential rooms to let at the college, phone numbers and addresses, and began to visit them in turn. We didn’t visit many. We found one that was only a couple blocks from the college, on the corner of Woodbine and Holland. It was perfect, mere blocks from the college, two malls a few minutes away on Lasalle, beer store, ATMs, groceries, and only a couple blocks from transit stops in either direction. Who could ask for more?

There were two bedrooms in the basement, I’d be given more or less free range of the house, use of the family kitchen, free use of cable TV, and a pool table in the basement. There was a pool in the back yard that I was welcome to use, as well, but given the months I’d be in Sudbury, I didn’t think I’d get much use of it. Smoking was permitted (it was still the ‘80s, an ashtray in every room). Done. We were invited to chat, so we had a few drinks poolside so both my parents and I could get to know Pat and Stan a little, and them me. Pat and Stan were very welcoming. I think they liked the idea that I was a more “mature” student. I saw no need to correct them on that point. We signed on the dotted line and went home.

Living there was good for me. It was quiet. I could concentrate. To be honest, I didn’t study any more or any less than I had the prior years. Despite that, my marks improved. I still went out to bars and clubs on the weekend, but I never once drank during the week. Okay, I rarely drank during the week. There was no cannabis present, no one doing knives beside me while I was cooking supper, no one offering me a beer or a joint every time I sat down with them to talk, no one having sex in the shower stall next to me in the morning. My cigarettes had even grown milder over the years. I ceased smoking Export A’s in Res. Both Evan and Deb had smoked Players Regular, and owing to how often we traded off smokes, I inevitably began to smoke the same brand as them.

I updated my look, a look that would become my signature winter skin for years to come. The HSM leather jacket was getting a little snug, what with my growing into a man. My shoulders and chest had broadened from years of summer labour. I may have even gained a pound or two from all that beer I drank; not many, I walked everywhere. Browsing men’s fashion at the New Sudbury Centre, I spotted a totally ‘80s overcoat I just had to have, a near ankle length Donegal tweed, bought roomy enough to fit a bulky sweater and jean jacket beneath. Pockets galore. I blame John Hughes, but I loved it. It was the cat’s ass!

I bought a new suit, too. Black blazer with peacock undertones (not Ducky, far more Mickey Rourke in Diner, but very ‘80s), black trousers, a few shirts, and two ties, one leather, the other a knit black silk. Doc Martin brogues. I had to invest in the upgrade; a new club named City Lights had opened that year in Sudbury, one that required a top end dress code. There was a cover charge to get in, more if there was a booked band, to keep the riff-raff out. I suppose they thought that if we were in suits and the girls in little black dresses we’d behave ourselves. We did, for the most part, although there were still fights that spilled out into the street as the nights wore on. I had to be there. It was the most popular club in town. They had a long line of pool tables, they had a disc jockey, they had a house band, they brought in New Wave from Toronto.

Stan set me down early on after seeing my stumble in at all hours on the weekend. He told me that if I ever found myself short on cash, or ever in trouble, that I was to call him right away, any time, no matter when. I may have been 20, but Stan knew what it was like to be young, and maybe what it was like to be heartbroken and adrift, too. I never did call, but it was comforting to think I had someone to fall back on. Truth is, I could never remember his number, so it wouldn’t have mattered had I needed him. So, I kept a ten tucked away in my wallet when I went out, with a promise to self to never touch it. It was always meant to be emergency cab fare. It also stayed tucked away the whole year through. Maybe I was learning. Maybe I was finally beginning to grow up.

I knew a few guys that year, those who were in 1^st year mining and in Res when I’d been there last, James Parisi, Dan Dumas, a few others. Sinclair (Sync), Brain, the Stu Unit. A few others in other courses. But for the most part, my “3^rd” year was a blank slate. Psycho remained, thanks to Jim Parisi. I think he loved that nickname, even if he probably never knew how it came to be. He still calls me that, if you can believe it, to this day, regardless how rarely we may see one another.

Girlfriends? Not a one. Dates? None of those, either. Probably a good thing, considering. That doesn’t mean I didn’t look. I did go out, after all. But I suspect I must have had a sign around my neck, one that said, KEEP AWAY, or ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.

One day…night, I’d begun a night’s prowl at City Lights. There was no booked band, just the house band and DJ. The music was alright. I played some pool, asked a few girls to dance. But there was no one there that I knew, so I left and slummed the rest of the night in Whiskey Jacks with the bikers, me in a suit, they in jeans and leather vests, then at the Colson, listening to some Scorpion cover band. I was lonely. I drank more than I should have, especially when slumming alone. I was eyed by some, the only guy present in an ‘80s peacock suit and leather tie, but I was left alone. I must also have a worn a “c’mon, do something,” aura, because I was always surprised to note that my spot against a pole near the stage was never once occupied when I came back from bio breaks. The last song rang my ears, the lights came on and blinded us, illuminated the seediness, and I staggered off to catch the bus to New Sudbury. The seats were all taken at the bus depot, so I leaned back into the Plexiglas and slumped down on my haunches.

A girl passing by gave me a long, hard look. She was not unattractive. Blonde. Her hair teased up. She reminded me of Debbie. “You need to get laid,” she said. Not kindly.

I thought on that for a moment, and then said, “Without a doubt.”

The Res, Part 5

Yes, part 5. Like I said, that year was one of the most formative of my life. A lot happened then; of course, a lot happened every year, but that year has been etched into my mind, like no other.

Needless to say, I was no angel, but I did do a few rather noteworthy romantic things, one of which was upon sighting someone selling roses one evening in a bar we were hangin’ at, declaring that no woman at our table should go home without one. I leapt out of my seat, bought the best looking red rose on the verge of blooming and gallantly presented the flower to Debbie. There were others, of course, not just red. There were white ones, there were yellow. Only red would do, red indicating love. Let the others buy those others, even the ones in full bloom; they’d be wilted come morning, while Deb’s would last the week, long enough until it could be replenished the next weekend. Would it have been cheaper buying them from a florist? Undoubtedly. But there was no florist at hand in the bar at that hour, at such short notice. Not to be outdone, the others followed suit. The girls were dutifully impressed, and we were all rewarded with a kiss for our chivalrous feat, and for our unparalleled manliness and bravery. A precedent had been set, one that lasted out our year. The night progressed. We danced, we drank, we laughed. Mid-evening, “Let’s Go Crazy” roared from the speakers, and Mark Lewis stood up and said that the music was not loud enough (it was; we could barely hear him), so he got up, approached the glassed-in disk jockey’s booth, and making two fists, he pointed his middle fingers to the floor. Then he rotated them, both fingers dialed up to the ceiling. “Turn it up!” he screamed. The jockey laughed, and he did. Bass drummed everywhere, compressing us, deafening us. There was nothing to be done after such a display but invade the dancefloor. Deb forgot her rose on the table as we headed home, and other than to catch her breath as we were pulling out of the parking lot, and to curse that she’d forgotten it, thought nothing more about it. “It’s just a flower,” she said. But the look on her face said otherwise, so I made a point of going out that Saturday to replenish it. Back home, I leaned against her doorframe, the rose at my back. “Got something for you,” I said, bringing it forward. The look that took hold of her face when I presented it to her was worth the effort.

But as I said, I could be an ass, too. Early on, Evan and I played a prank. Actually, Evan did, but I didn’t stop him. I did aid and abet. A Timmins girl in Y-section had brought her bike from home, and was always going on about it. It was a nice bike, better than any I ever had. Evan decided that we ought to hide it, just for a little while. Yes, alcohol was involved. Why’d we do it? I don’t know, the girl was a friend, and we certainly shouldn’t have, but we did. So, when she wasn’t looking, we, meaning he, took it out of her room, and brought it down the stairs to the utility room. I held the doors. She flipped out when she found it missing. A search was conducted. Of course, the bike was not found. Who’d have looked in the utility room at the base of the stairs? She was angry, then desperate, then she began to cry. Evan thought she was acting like a baby, it had been less than an hour, after all, and that her histrionics were childish, at best. But my heart broke for her, so I went and got it. Evan was pissed at me, but I told him to fuck off and grow up. We were assholes to have done it. But I did say I wouldn’t rat on him. Our deans were livid. They asked me who else was involved, but I wouldn’t say. I told them “what does it matter? It was me, just blame me.” I got down on my knees and asked the girl for forgiveness. She slapped me across the head, twice, going on about how her dead brother had given her that bike. If that were the truth, I can understand why she was so pissed. I took the punishment; it was the least I deserved. The female dean stopped her, said that was enough, then told me to get out and go to my room. She’d come by later to have a word with me.

Later, the female dean asked me, “It was Evan, wasn’t it?” knowing how inseparable he and I were. I shrugged. Then she thanked me for returning the bike, and said that, since I returned it quickly, nothing more would be said about it. She also said she thought the victim was a bit of a drama queen and that she ought to grow up. That was when the dean lit a joint and handed it to me.

The girl from Timmins transferred to 4^th floor a week later, and didn’t speak to me for months. 4^th floor was the all-girl floor, quieter, safer, whereas the rest were co-ed. I don’t think there was any taboo about our being up there (guys, that is), but it was declared all-girl, so we just had to see. Evan and I had “snuck” up there before all this to check it out. It was ALL girls, after all. It was rather adolescent of us, looking back on it. It was definitely quiet up there; in fact, it was like a tomb. We got some funny looks as we stepped from the elevator. I couldn’t stay long, it felt forbidden.

We chased another from our floor. There was a guy in Y-section, actually next door to the Timmins bicycle girl. He kept to himself, so no one knew him. He smelled. He never washed. Long stringy hair collapsed about his shoulders. It wasn’t just that he smelled, his room did too. The odour escaped out into the hall, even with the door closed, and clung to the walls. The bike girl was disgusted, and wanted the deans to do something. The deans asked him to wash, but there was only so much a dean could do. So, we pooled our resources and left toiletries outside his door. He took them in, but owing to the continued odour, he didn’t use them. So, we held a bit of an intervention. We knocked on his door and told him to please wash. He didn’t.

So, one day we jumped him in the hall, and carried him into the Y-section washroom. We held him down and poured dish soap and shampoo all over him, clothing and all. The girls yelled “Don’t you fuckin’ move,” as we boys applied the roughest brush we could find in the hardware store to his head, his hair, his clothes. Others sprayed his room with about 10 cans of aerosol and poured liquid detergent over his clothing and his bedsheets.

I never saw him again. He too moved. It was probably in his right to have us all charged with assault. Our deans shrugged, and handed us another joint.

The Res, Part 4

Residence was distracting. Which was fun, but not always a good thing. There was always music playing somewhere in Res. Transistor radios, tape decks, full on stereos, LPs and all. There was always someone wandering the hall, hanging out in the common room, someone knocking someone else up (read what you will into that). One learned to tune it out, sometimes having to close one’s door to do so. Sometimes one just needed some alone time. Sometimes alone time was one on one. Sometimes alone time was to actually do homework, to study, and to have that, one had to close one’s door.

But who am I kidding? My door was open more than it was shut. I was having the best year of my life, so sometimes distractions are a good thing. Distractions were good for burning off excess energy and stress. God knows I was a neurotic mess that year, after Haileybury, after Roxanne, and other issues I’d been carting around with me for some time, like having almost died that summer, for instance. I was open to all distractions. And in Res, there was no shortage of them. Someone was always in the know about what might be going on, and we all wanted to hear about it, whatever it was. It was impossible to keep things quiet when there were about 200 people living in close proximity, and who would want to? We were all 18 to 20, most of us, anyway (there was one 17-year-old from Quebec in Res; what he thought about our carrying on is anyone’s guess), and we were running free for the first time, with not a moment to lose. News spread rapidly, largely unfiltered.

Like when Triumph came to town. Word had spread before the posters were up. As most of us were from the North, few of us had seen a “big” concert. The big acts had begun to bypass Timmins by then, and most of us were newly legal, so more than a few of us hadn’t even seen a band in a bar yet. Triumph was not to be missed. We all still had disposable cash then, we all bought tickets, the cheap seats, obviously. The Sudbury arena was packed, the floor swaying with people, all seats full, lighters lit and sweeping side to side. I don’t know what impressed me more, that sea of flames and the communal energy, or the actual show. Rick Emmett ran up and down and around a runway that ringed the stage while playing. I had little to compare it to. Most of my experience was in long narrow bars, the band held in place by a small crowed stage, speakers piled high to low ceilings, the bass thumping my lungs and spine, my ears screaming by night’s end. The sound was alright, I suppose, but we were at the far end, so it was a little muffled as it bounced off the back wall. No complaints. I had a great time. Friends, music, live show; what’s not to love.

Later, we saw ads for a transvestite show. We just had to go. Deb shocked me. She said that one of the crossdressers was the best-looking woman she’d ever seen and wanted to take “her” to bed. “Hey,” was the best I could come up with on such short notice, wrapping my arms around her. That earned me an elbow.

Brian Adams came to town with Luba in the early spring. Brian Adams! “Reckless” had just come out. Hits were unveiled by the week. The man was becoming a superstar overnight. And he was coming to Sudbury! Luba was a smaller scale star in her own right. Everyone was thrilled. I was not. There was no way I could go. I was short of money by then, my annual loan from my parents still weeks away. Deb was tapped, too. So was Evan. Everyone else had apparently budgeted better than we had, or so it seemed, because just about everyone we knew rushed out to buy tickets. We were jealous. And depressed when the day finally came. The floor was delirious with excitement. One of our circle took pity on us. Mark Lewis invited us into his room. “Have fun,” he said, as he swept his arm over his component stereo and LPs. And pointed out some new finds, to us at least: REM, The Smiths, the Cure. There were so many, more than I had collected, and he being from down South had been exposed to so much more, so many genera. It was like being given the keys to a candy store.

So, after we saw our friends off, we surveyed what we had at hand. A couple beers each, more than enough smokes, enough stuff for a couple joints. We began to leaf through the albums. Not one Brian Adams. We were okay with that. We began with his suggestions. Not too loud. We wanted to talk. We did. But we also found ourselves floored by Michael Stipes’ droning “Radio Free Europe” and then “So. Central Rain,” by the Cure’s layered reverb, Johnny Marr and Morrissey of The Smiths. Joy Division. So much new and known New Wave. Post Punk. It was like a new religion. Heaven. Deb wanted to hear acoustic guitar, fingers sliding down strings, so we searched for that, too.

Mostly, we talked. And laughed. And almost forgot that were missing the concert of the year. Time passed and before we knew it, the floor was back, their echoes rolling down the halls.

They crowded the room, eager to tell us all about it. The girls gave a more than detailed description of how Luba was dressed, argued about song order, and how they called out their requests, and what requests. Then Brian Adams, white shirt blazing under the lights, jeans as worn-in as jeans ought to be. Song list. How loud. How good. How great. And then came the best description of all. How idiots in front of the stage began hurling beer cups onto the stage. Brian Adams demanding that the crowd stop. More empty cups flew. The show pressed on. But come the end, Brian Adams leaned into his mic, cast a cold stare across the gathered floor, and declared that Sudbury was the worst crowd he’d ever played for and that he would NEVER be back. He backed away from the mic, accepted the silence and then the boos with grace, and walked off.

“Wow,” we said, eager for more detail, for what more there was to tell. “Was he right to say that?”
“Oh, yeah,” our friends said. “The crowd was full of drunk assholes!”

It’s been over 30 years since I missed that show. I’ve always regretted it. But in retrospect, had I gone, I wouldn’t have had those hours with Deb and Evan. And maybe spending those hours with my best friends was more priceless than any concert. No, not maybe. Definitely. They were the people I loved most in the whole world, then.

The Res

 

After vacating the Haileybury School of Mines, I was next schooled at Cambrian College in Sudbury. Same course, Mining Engineering Technology, just different school. Should I have changed schools? Yes. Should I have found a different path to pursue? Even then that should have been obvious to me, but I was still oblivious to that. Even in regards to all things Engineering. My neighbour, George Miller, had worked in labour and supervision in the Timmins mining industry his whole life, and George had tried to give me some sage career advice that summer, but George was too cryptic in his delivery; George should not have just said, “Get the ring, David,” referring to the iron ring all engineers wear on their right pinky, George ought to have been bolder in his advice, telling me that the industry (largely engineers in management) does not respect technologists, only engineers, and that my career advancement would be severely limited because of it. Of course, no school that teaches technology courses would ever enlighten their students with that tidbit of wisdom, would they? That said, I was too full of myself back then to heed George’s advice, brushing it aside, as though I knew my choice of career better than a man in his 50s who’d already spent his life in it.
Essentials packed again, we arrived in Sudbury, found the college residence, found my room (1B10), and dropped my stuff off. That took a while. The residence entrance was on the 3^rd floor, my room on the 1^st. You’d think that my having worked underground and used to a three-dimensional world, that I’d have been able to figure out that the 1^st floor was not the ground entrance, that should have been a piece of cake, but it took a few tries before it sunk in. My parents took me to lunch, and were on their way back home in the early afternoon. I was less devastated this time than the last. There was more excitement this time. Bigger school, more people, more to do.
My stuff arranged, I crashed out in the common room, no more than five feet from my room, and flipped channels. I found football, and left it there. I didn’t actually want to watch anything, I wanted to get on with meeting new friends, but I needed something to fill the time with something, was too excited to concentrate on a book, and I didn’t want to appear too introverted or closed off. I kept glancing through the common room windows at the halls for activity, and shortly, Evan Macdonald was seen, and having just seen me, came in to introduce himself. I said, “Hey, I’m Dave,” and he answered with “Hey,” and whatever else he said. Evan spoke in such a thick Cape Breton accent that it took me about a month before I could really decipher what he said, and by then I’d already begun to pick up bits and pieces of his accent, too (so said my friends when I returned home for Thanksgiving). But within about a half hour, I’d begun to pick out most of what I thought he said, or enough to figure out what I thought he said, anyway. We began with easy words. Evan had beer, so we started with that one. I had beer too. We were best friends. We settled in, introduced bits about ourselves. Evan was in Audio Visual, a drummer, a soundman for his band out East. He wanted to learn more about the electronic end of music.

More people arrive, people from Timmins, Cochrane, North Bay, people from the North and people from the South. And there were girls, the Res being co-op. Everywhere I looked there were girls. And one in particular who caught my eye, a girl from Elliot Lake. Enter Debbie Wursluk. Polish ancestry, my height, good figure, a blonde mullet Mohawk that rivaled Robert Smith’s for height. We begin to mix in the common room, in the halls, chatting each other up in doorways.
Then we had our residence induction from our floor deans. Each floor had a male and female dean. Our male dean looked like he stepped out of Platinum Blonde. Our female dean looked like Patty Smythe from Scandal. Rules were laid out involving guests and such, the usual fire drill. Then we were told that there was a meet and greet at Cortina Café later. No one knew where Cortina Café was. They didn’t tell us. But I knew where Cortina Pizzeria was, my parents had just treated me to lunch there. And Cortina Pizzeria was only about a half mile away, just up Regent Street, the same Regent the Res was, on so I assumed that was what they were talking about. So, I said, I knew where Cortina’s was. Word spread, and that’s where first floor Res went. As a group, everyone, B section, G section, Y section. We filed in, and Cortina’s, seeing all those greenbacks roll in, set up an enormous table down the centre of the restaurant. We dominated the restaurant. We wondered where our deans were, as they weren’t in Cortina’s when we arrived. We shrugged, and settled in, Evan to one side of me, Debbie to the other, the three of us already fast friends. We ordered drinks, then more while we waited a while for our deans to arrive. They did not. It was suggested by Evan that maybe we were in the wrong place. I countered with, “well, this is the only Cortina’s I know about, and we’re here now. If there’s another, I’m not going to go traipsing all over town to find it.” We ordered, we ate, we drank some more, paid our bills, and once we got back to the Res, we piled into cabs for the nearest Beer Store.
By the time the deans returned from the actual Cortina Café, downtown and quite some distance away, we were back with our now much depleted cases, the party in full swing.
“Where the fuck were you,” they asked me.
“At Cortina’s, “I said, “just down the road,” pointing up Regent Street through the windowless hall (my 3D senses fully aware by now where everything was in relation to one another), “Where were you?”
They explained where the “real” Cortina Café was. I shrugged. “Oh,” I said before taking a pull on my beer, not really caring. I may have been a little tipsy by then.
The night progressed, the party surged from hall to rooms, to the common room, spilling out to other floors to meet newer new people.
Debbie and I found ourselves alone in Evan’s room, close, her on his bed, me on a chair facing her, the chair abut the bed, our legs resting alongside one another, touching. She was surveying me with what I believe now was smoldering sensuality. I was responding like I never had before. Breath deeper, a bull urge rising up. Looking back, I think Evan concocted a reason to leave us alone, figuring out rather quickly and easily what I was too daft to see for myself.
We are taking each other in, feeling each other out, chatting about everything and nothing at that moment. Deb was in Audio Visual, as well. Loved music, loved movies, chatted endlessly (I was entranced with her voice, her laugh), but also hung on my every word when I did speak.
After a pause, she asked me, “Have you ever wanted to go to bed, but weren’t sure you wanted to go to bed?” She said. My heart lurched, skipped a beat.
I was pretty naïve then, and I’d just come from a largely all male college, so such conversations were pretty much unheard of, so I was not entirely sure what she was getting at. Was she tired? Did she want to take me to bed? I was really beginning to like this girl, even after so short an acquaintance, so I was really hoping for the later, and was really hoping that she would decide to do just that. But I was a gentleman, raised to respect women and their choices. And we were drunk, so I really didn’t want my first time to be a drunken tumble, soon to be regretted by her in the morning. Regretted by me were she to reject me on that count.
“Yeah,” was all I could think of to say, hoping that she’d read manly worldliness into so short a response.
I did not turn out how I’d hoped.
I think she decided that she was too drunk to continue, and that I was too drunk to continue. And maybe she didn’t really want to mess things up with me, either. Her mind made up, she slinked and hopped from the bed, she whisked past, but not without grazing her fingertips along my pant leg as she passed.
Good night, she said, and laid a kiss on my cheek. She must have heard my breath catch in my throat, because she smiled more broadly than she had already. “Loved meeting you. It was a good night.”
It was.